Week 19

Hi! So we are in week 19, which is 21 weeks away from your arrival, and we are nearly halfway. It feels crazy. I do think these past few months have gone by quite fast. Your dad and I are still talking about names, we don't want anything religious, I would like something to reflect both your father's and my ethnicity...and we've got two names we are batting around and neither I'm too thrilled with. But! We've got about five more months to figure it out!

So...you are the size of a mango/zucchini (which really doesn't make sense to me because I do think sweet potatoes and mangoes and avocado are all the same size...and zucchini and mango are nowhere near the same size but I guess pregnancy apps don't make a lot of sense!) I'm feeling you moving around every day, at all times of the day, and it's an amazing feeling. Your dad and I talked about the fact that I get to be with you all day, while he doesn't, and he admitted he feels a bit sad (aw) about that. I keep telling him to speak to you in Arabic, because that's the plan when you come out, and he truly is himself when he's speaking his own language. Also: the latest genetic test came back and all looks well with you!

I've been tiiiiiiiiiiirrrrreeed this week. Like every day it feels like something has been knocking me down and out even more than usual. I spoke to your aunt, TC about it, and she said "you must be growing some organ for the baby!" I looked it up, and yes, it seems your lungs are starting to develop this week! I hit the gym five days, which is my weekly goal, and did some walking (10K days two days this week) and will go to meditation only once this week (boo) but it's something! It might be time for me to build in some half hour naps during the week so I can offset this tiredness. I'm glad I haven't used it as an excuse to miss the gym (believe me, I wanted to!)

I noticed another thing this week: your dad and I wait for every Thursday (that's when our new week begins) to watch these countdown videos of you, and see how much you are growing and all that, and I feel slightly disappointed after watching them. It's as if I need to wait a whole other week to get excited about you again, and I'm not sure what that's all about. Thankfully, I stopped reading the comments section on this one pregnancy app which was all hysteria and paranoia and fear. Your dad and I are already attached to and love you, and preparing myself and worrying about the worst case scenario only serves to make me feel more anxious during this pregnancy. As if I didn't have enough anxiety!

So...in less than two weeks, we get our mid-point anatomy scan. That's when we get an in-depth ultrasound that looks at all parts of you to ensure everything is growing well and all looks OK. I've been waiting for this appointment since November 27, so you can imagine how much I've wanted and needed the time to go by so I can see you again.

Here is to week 20!