I went back to DC! And I'm back to work! And hubby and I bought a car! So much has happened! But most importantly: our little guy turned 3 months old!
It's been an amazing ride, this whole motherhood thing, so much so, that those first two weeks of black hole intensity after he was born, I've kinda sorta forgotten about. And it's strange and enchanting and intriguing how loving this little thing, every day and in every way, can do that to someone.
Going back to DC/home wasn't as difficult as I braced itself to be. In fact, hubby and I have come up with a pretty solid routine in terms of sleep/work and taking care of our little Olan. And I'm so grateful for all of it! We've become a cozy little family and I'm so grateful for everything hubby and I have created between ourselves. We also....wait for it....bought a car! I haven't owned a car in almost 8 years and it feels amazing to have that bit of agency and not have to rely on Uber/rideshare or public transportation when taking Olan around (we did it for the first few months, and it was stressful!)
A few other observations: if you based my life on my social media accounts, you'd have no clue that my life has shifted into another orbit. Nothing about me being pregnant, no pics of our little dude, none of it. Both hubby and I feel strongly that we don't want to post pics of Olan on social media, but lately, for some odd reason, I'd like to. I want to share our bliss with others, would like others to know what it feels like to be a new mother, but honestly, the people who should know, do know. And the rest are acquaintances/not really friends, just on the periphery. So then I realize it's more important for me to protect that bliss and keep it close to myself, and my heart, and share it with those directly in my orbit...
Other thoughts: I've also been grappling with the fact that the past year I've scrubbed many people out of my life: the once-considered best girl friend (I freakin' officiated her wedding), the sister-friend who was one of my closest confidantes, and others who have been on the outskirts, but were once close enough to affect my energy (read: negatively). Letting go of that energy, as Oprah calls it an "energy clearing" has been instrumental in me becoming a mother. Especially an older mother, because if any one of those energy suckers had stayed in my life, it would have affected my pregnancy and my postpartum in a detrimental way (this I'm sure of). So for the same reason I will not be posting pics of our dude on social media, I will continue to keep a wide berth when it comes to energy vampires and the lingering effects of toxic people.
Becoming a mother has been immensely rewarding, cliche but true, and I never imagined the love I could feel for our little dude, and for hubby, too. We've grown closer together as parents, mostly as we marvel at this perfect little being we both created through our love for one another. I grow more and more in love with him each and every day I see him becoming more of an amazing father to our little Olan. I'm grateful that we were blessed enough to have such an amazing pregnancy (no morning sickness, no complications, full term baby, vaginal birth) and now, an awesome baby who continues to grow and amaze us.
So I'll end this post with what I'm grateful for: my anti-anxiety medication, my hubby, my parents, my sister TC and my three crazy monster nieces, my job (the flexibility, the pay, the hours) and our new car, cos it's safe, it's reliable, and it will take our little dude from point A to point B.
Life is great!
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